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Steelers Bungle the Bengals.

By Joshua M. Patton

The blurry vision from my whiskey-drunk is slowly starting to dissipate. Two days of drunken debauchery and petty larceny are behind me and if I had to blame anyone specifically it would be Tyrone Carter. I sat through the pre-season with nothing but high hopes for the Steelers’ performance this year and I even postulated that without any major injuries that we would dominate the NFL like Mike Tyson on Robin Givens. I stand by that, since we lost Troy Polamalu, but I was surprised to learn that he made up our entire professional secondary.

Traditional Steelers’ fans across the country are surely going through the same thing I am at this moment, we are an unforgiving fan base. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the radio sports jockeys begin predicting us to go 6 and 10. This type of basless, fair-weather fandom is unfair to the still-reigning champs, but at the same time, I understand where it is coming from.

No one expected this to happen. Even Mike Tomlin seemed at a loss when he told reporters after the game that they had to go back “to the lab” and work up a winning formula. Dick LeBeau, I’m assuming, was unavailable for comment because his head had exploded. There is something missing from the team that allowed the Bears and now the Bungles to thoroughly embarrass us on a national stage.

Anyone who has watched football, played a game of Madden, or has eyes that were pointed at the TV on Sunday can see that we have a serious problem in our secondary. Our D-Line made some mistakes, but it seemed that they were trying to spread themselves around the field more than they should. Yet, Palmer was able to throw pass after pass with impunity and our formerly number one defense seemed, well, defenseless.

However, while defense can win games, so can a really good offense. The receiver corps has made few errors, but the ones they have made were substantial. The O-line, while looking a bit more disciplined, still leaves a little to be desired when it comes to allowing Ben the time he needs to allow the plays to develop. Yet, this is hardly even a problem. No, the real trouble lies in the fact that our running game is inconsistent at best.

Willie Parker had his best game so far this year, nearly breaking 100 yards rushing. As unrealistic as it sounds, Parker has always needed time to “warm up,” before he can really contribute. He has more than doubled his total yards rushing with each game. If he continues to improve, it will be easier for the offense to move the ball around on the field. Yet, we still seem to lack that back that can drive into the endzone, (dare I say it?) like a Bus. I still hold onto the idea that if we had Redman on the roster, the score to this game and the last would have looked much different. Next week’s game against the Chargers will be tough, but with the chilly weather and playing in the heart of Steelers Nation there is hope that Troy will not be making that pained face on the sidelines next week. Res Ipsa Loquitor.

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